If it gets too much

If you're searching for better ways to deal with particularly distressing thoughts and feelings, these suggestions are for you.

Get the support you need

If emotional pain is unbearable:

• Call NHS 111 if you're feeling suicidal, any time, day or night.

• Please speak with your GP as soon as possible even if you're reaching out to counsellors, psychotherapists, psychologists or other helping professionals. Ask for an emergency appointment and be honest if you think you may hurt yourself and/or another person in your distressed state. I've worked with many people over the years who do not want to burden others but are ground down by their own challenges. If you don't let people know you're not coping, they won't be able to help you. Helping professionals have support systems in place to ensure we don't take on your burdens.

• You can check your symptoms online on NHS 111 to get more specific advice.

• Call the Samaritans on 116 123 any time, day or night.

• Search for, and contact, local support services using the Hub of Hope.

• You may also find the Stay Alive app helpful if you're thinking about suicide or worried about someone.

Connect and build hope

As well as contacting your GP or NHS 111 at the first opportunity - links above - you may find the following suggestions help to boost your sense of psychological and relational safety:

• Are there people in your life where there is a mutual sense of affection, knowing and trusting? If so, find them out. It's time to ask for help - see The Boy, the Fox, the Mole and the Horse quote about asking for help above.

• Parts of you may act like small children in distress. They have the potential to respond to reason and wise words, but initially their primary need may be for quiet, secure and reassuring connection.

• Self-help methods may have more impact if practised with one or more people who you trust. For example, Trauma Tapping Technique is an Energy Psychology method that is often taught to groups of people struggling with extreme distress.

If you're in a dark place and believe there's no way out, things will probably have happened that make this conclusion understandable. At the same time, there are more helpful beliefs and actions that could help you to move forwards in life. There are people who can help you to light up, and find a way through, the darkness. A burden shared with the right kind of person is a burden well and truly halved.

If things are difficult but bearable

Some options include:

• Contacting your GP and arranging an appointment as soon as possible.

• Exploring support through NHS Talking Therapies.

• Exploring private therapeutic support with myself or other local therapists.